Advocating for others is a noble thing to do, whether it’s standing up for someone who is being mistreated, helping someone in need, or pursuing justice. The desire to advocate for others, whether it be strangers, family, or friends, may be there, but it can sometimes be hard to act on it. Wanting to be an advocate and actually being one are very different, and it can be challenging to know where or how to start.
Being an advocate begins not just with helping others but first by helping yourself and advocating for your health, rights, and well-being. Caring for others, namely an aging parent, grandparent, spouse, or other loved one, is one of the most meaningful roles a person can take on. But it often comes with its challenges, too. Not everyone is good at being an advocate for themselves, let alone others, so it can be hard to navigate another’s healthcare, helping them manage daily tasks and understanding financial decisions, or simply being able to speak up when they cannot.
To some people, this might come naturally, while others may be more apprehensive when going into environments in which they must advocate for another. Being an advocate, however, is more than just attending doctor's appointments or reminding someone to take their medications. It means becoming a trusted partner who helps ensure their loved one's wishes, needs, safety, and dignity remain the priority. Whether that be whilst they live independently or in an assisted living community, advocacy plays a huge role in helping them maintain the highest possible quality of life.
In today’s blog post, we’ll go over some practical tips on how to be a better advocate for your senior loved one!
What Does It Mean to Advocate for a Senior?
Advocacy means speaking up, asking questions, gathering information, and helping ensure your loved one receives the care, respect, and support they deserve. Whether that be at doctors' appointments, with a senior living facility, when navigating finances and home management, whatever it may be, it’s coming alongside them and helping ensure they are protected.
Some other examples of ways in which an advocate may help a senior loved one include:
- Medical decisions
- Understanding treatment options
- Coordinating care between providers
- Communicating with family members
- Identifying safety concerns
- Managing appointments
- Organizing medications
- Protecting against scams or fraud
- Supporting emotional well-being
- Respecting personal wishes and independence
The three C’s of Advocacy:
There are three main ways advocating presents, whether it be in a work environment, healthcare, school, the political/policy sector, or personally for those in our lives:
- Connect: Build and maintain relationships with those in whatever environment you’re in. For the case of senior advocacy, that might be caregivers, doctors, or specialists, local and community resources, and the senior themselves.
- Collaborate: Working together with those in your environment. For senior advocacy, that might look like working on care plans and discharge plans.
- Communicate: Speaking up for yourself and others. For your senior loved one, this would look like helping track their medical journey (prescriptions, appointments) and effectively speaking up to ensure their voice is heard, their rights are protected, and information is accurately shared.
Advocacy isn't about taking over someone's life; it's about helping them maintain control while providing support when it's needed. Many seniors fear that when they get older, they will lose their independence, and many may not want help as they fear becoming dependent on another. Advocacy should not be looked at as dependence, but rather as support. You’re not taking over the person’s life and decisions; instead, you’re coming alongside them to ensure their wishes are met, ultimately ensuring they are protected and respected as an individual.
It’s well known that seniors are a large target for scams and are often subjected to mistreatment, which is another reason why advocacy is so important. According to an article discussing why older adults are victims of fraud, they state how older adults are disproportionately targeted by various kinds of fraud, which result in irreversible economic losses and great psychological distress. They further explain that the factors shown to influence fraud victimization among older adults include cognitive decline, emotional regulation and motivational changes, their overly trusting nature, psychological vulnerability, social isolation, risk-taking, and a lack of knowledge and information regarding fraud prevention.
Another article on the prevalence of financial fraud and scams among older adults within the United States found that approximately 1 of every 18 cognitively intact, community-dwelling older adults each year is affected by elder financial fraud and scams, making it a common problem.
7 Ways to Be a Better Advocate for Your Senior Loved One
1. Listen First
One of the biggest mistakes caregivers (or loved ones of seniors) make is assuming they know what's best without first asking what their loved one wants.
Older adults often fear losing independence more than almost anything else, which is why many are often wary of asking for help and being dependent on another family member or friend. Instead of making blanket statements or assumptions, it’s best to go in with questions and ask how they are feeling and what they think they could use some extra assistance with. Being an active listener will help them feel valued and cared for, as well as help validate any of their concerns.
2. Attending Appointments With Them
Healthcare can become increasingly complicated as we age, and having someone attend medical appointments with you can help ease your mind, no matter what age you are. But going with a senior loved one will help so you can take notes, ask questions, and ensure all topics that your loved one wanted to cover are discussed. This also includes asking questions about any medications or new prescriptions as well as ensuring follow-up appointments are scheduled.
Having another set of ears during appointments helps everyone.
3. Stay Organized
Emergencies can happen unexpectedly, and having all the documents and information you need in that situation might not be readily available or organized. That’s why it’s a good idea to have a list of medical information such as medications, allergies, a list of doctors, insurance information, emergency contacts, and other important information in a place that will be easy to locate if needed. Having both digital and printed copies of this information is a good idea, and having important documents in one place can help save valuable time.
4. Learn About Their Medical Conditions
Not only is this advocacy, but also empathy. When our loved ones suffer from medical conditions (such as diabetes, dementia, or heart disease), it’s important we educate ourselves on those conditions so we know how to best care for and love them. You should take the time to understand what conditions they might have and how they can affect their day-to-day lives, including symptoms, treatment options, and overall information regarding the condition. The more informed you are, the more effectively you can help identify any concerns early on.
5. Respect Their Independence
Being an advocate does not mean making every decision or making decisions for them. It’s helping ensure their decisions are respected, their voice remains heard, and they are protected. It’s important to still encourage your senior loved one to maintain independence where they are able, such as picking out clothes, picking what to eat, how they participate in appointments, maintaining hobbies, encouraging socialization, and completing tasks that they are able to safely. This helps preserve dignity and build confidence.
6. Watch for Changes
Many health problems develop gradually, whether it be weight loss, mobility issues, mental health concerns, or something similar. Whether it be physically or mentally, seniors' health can change, but it doesn’t usually happen overnight. Their home environment also contributes to changes in their health by factors such as expired food, tripping hazards, or missed medications. Staying active and involved in their lives helps to ensure that small problems don’t go ignored and grow into bigger problems.
7. Ask for Help
Being an advocate doesn't mean doing everything yourself. In fact, when you try to do everything yourself, you might find yourself experiencing burnout. To avoid burnout and ensure your loved one is well cared for, you also have to care for yourself, which may involve reaching out and asking for extra help. Whether it be from friends, family members, care professionals or coordinators, support groups, or community resources, it’s important to not only reach out for help but also to accept it. After all, caring for yourself ensures you’re able to effectively care for someone else.
Some Common Advocacy Scenarios
Scenario 1: Medication Mix-Up
A daughter visits her father every Sunday and has dinner with him. As she was at his house, she noticed several of his prescription bottles on the kitchen counter, a few of which were expired. She wasn’t sure which ones he still needed to be taking and decided to schedule an appointment with his physician to help clear up any medication confusion.
Together, they were able to update his medication list and get new prescriptions for him and remove ones he no longer needed, making a simpler medication routine for her father and creating peace of mind for her.
Scenario 2: Refusing Help
An adult son’s elderly mother insisted she doesn't need assistance. In fact, she gets angry when her children try to help; however, when visiting her, he noticed some bruises on her legs. When asked how she got them, she revealed she had fallen twice in the last month. He didn’t immediately demand that she needed extra care or to move into assisted living; instead, he asked how it happened and what her goals were. She said she had tripped on some clutter around her house but didn’t want to leave her home. His solution was to help declutter her home and make it safer for her to move around in, including the addition of shower bar rails, extra lighting in hallways, and the removal of rugs and any other tripping hazards he found. His mother was excited that she could maintain independence while also ensuring a safer home environment.
Scenario 3: Memory Changes
A granddaughter noticed her grandmother repeating the same stories over several visits with her over the last few months. Rather than dismissing it as a normal sign of aging, she discussed it with other family members and decided to help schedule her for a medical evaluation. The doctor confirmed mild cognitive impairment early, allowing her family to adjust her medications, create important medical and legal documents, develop a long-term care plan, and implement memory support. This early action is able to help lead to better outcomes.
Scenario 4: Hospital Discharge
After an elderly father had knee surgery, he was discharged home. His son, who took him to have the procedure, asked important questions before leaving, talking with doctors and nurses during the discharge process, asking about bandages, physical therapy, signs of infections, things or activities to avoid, and how and who to contact after hours in case of questions or concerns. Because his son was so thorough beforehand, his father had a smooth recovery and was able to avoid unnecessary complications.
Advocacy isn't about having all the answers. It's about showing up, asking thoughtful questions, paying attention to changes, and helping your loved one make informed decisions while honoring their independence and dignity. While being an advocate and caring for others is important, it’s also important to care for yourself. Caring for others can be emotionally and physically demanding, so it’s important to take care of yourself well so that you can care for others well.
Every conversation, doctor's appointment, safety improvement, and moment of support helps build a stronger foundation for healthy aging. Even small actions, such as keeping medications organized, asking one more question at an appointment, or simply listening with patience, can make a meaningful difference.
No family has to navigate the aging journey alone. With preparation, compassion, and the right support system, you can become a confident advocate who helps your loved one feel safe, respected, and empowered every step of the way. Senior Industry Services is here to support you and the seniors in your life, with the goal of making Central Texas the best place for seniors to age!
Written for Senior Industry Services by Lauren Hope Bartling
References:
Burnes, D., Henderson, C. R., Jr, Sheppard, C., Zhao, R., Pillemer, K., & Lachs, M. S. (2017). Prevalence of Financial Fraud and Scams Among Older Adults in the United States: A Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. American journal of public health, 107(8), e13–e21. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2017.303821
Civil Society and Advocacy | Learning to give. https://www.learningtogive.org/resources/civil-society-and-advocacy
Goyer, A. (2024, February 15). How to be an effective advocate for your aging parents. How to Be an Effective Advocate for Aging Parents. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/basics/advocate-for-aging-parents/
How to advocate for a parent in Assisted Living. https://www.belmontvillage.com/assisted-living-advocacy-for-families/
Shang, Y., Wu, Z., Du, X., Jiang, Y., Ma, B., & Chi, M. (2022). The psychology of the internet fraud victimization of older adults: A systematic review. Frontiers in psychology, 13, 912242. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2022.912242
Shao, J., Zhang, Q., Ren, Y., Li, X., & Lin, T. (2019). Why are older adults victims of fraud? Current knowledge and prospects regarding older adults' vulnerability to fraud. Journal of elder abuse & neglect, 31(3), 225–243. https://doi.org/10.1080/08946566.2019.1625842